At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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