is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
