the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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