I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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