"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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