Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
