everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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