I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
