Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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