I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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