it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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