Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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