That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
