sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize