Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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