you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
