She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
