I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
