I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
