We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
