I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You peed on a flamingo?!?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
