I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
