Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
