that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Randomize
