so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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