A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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