They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
