is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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