all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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