My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
