i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
