I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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