almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
