i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
