They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
