dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
