I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
