i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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