You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
