i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
