I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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