i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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