She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
