Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Randomize
