My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
