Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize