i need an iv and a liver transplant
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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