i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm too high and old for this...
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