Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
