how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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