with your own penis?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We just shotgunned beers for America
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
