FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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