Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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