My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
