There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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