Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
