I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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