Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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