he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
