3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
tell me about the eggs
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
