How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
