Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
