bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
