Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
