Nicole vs. Life
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize